it doesn't get any better than this...

in light of my last few posts, that probably seems like we are on the upswing, right?

well, sort of.

lots of things have happened this week. i cannot quite reveal all of the details until one final piece falls into place tomorrow, but i can say that God has been revealing Himself to us in so many ways. like my friend cyndi would say, we are getting to see 'Jesus with skin on' up close and personal.

the little boy in the womb has decided he wants to bring some excitement to our lives. if you call excitement going in to the doctor's office for a 32 week check-up only to be sent directly to the hospital for monitoring and the first of two steroid shots to help baby boy's lungs develop just a teeny bit faster than they would on their own. ripened cervix and dilated to 1-2 cm were not phrases i wanted to hear. but, hey. a little excitement never hurt anyone, right?

so now we are on 'bedrest.' i dread that word. it was hard when i had a 4 and 2 year old when i was pregnant with stinkerbell. and it is even harder with a 7, 4, and 2 year old. thankfully, due to circumstances beyond our control, my hubby has been home for the last 4 weeks and has been able to be the 'mommy' in many ways and significantly lessen my workload.

not his chosen profession, but he does amazingly well at it! i am convinced that if he hadn't been home, the bedrest thing would have happened waaaaay before this.

last time, i wasn't so gracious with asking for help. i was pretty stand-offish, and i am ashamed to admit that. i wasn't quite ready to be humbled and ask for help, even though i desperately needed it. the KISA was 4 hours away training for a new job the monday after i was put on bedrest. we had to have people in the house 24-7. i was very prideful, and usually when pride is involved, grace is not. i hope i have learned my lessons (probably not, but i think i did learn a little). i look back on those days with a lot of regret. thankfully, my friends just stepped up and ran with scheduling so i didn't have to worry about the details. i am not sure what i would have done without them (thanks, tammy and karen!).

regret that i wasn't more thankful toward those who so willingly served us and put up with my moodiness.

regret that i didn't accept more of the help that was offered and limiting the abilities of others to show Christ to us.

regret that i didn't see God actively working in our lives in the midst of it. i can look back now and recount the blessings, but i missed out while it was happening.

so now...what am i doing? advertising our needs :) even though i am a much better giver than receiver, i know that when i find out about a need too late to help with i am always saddened with the thought that i wasn't able to help.

within hours of my first e-mail/facebook post i had an overflowing inbox. the tears coursed down my face as i opened each email and saw the outpouring of prayers, offers of meals, and help with childcare. each day has brought new emails, phone calls and offers of help. i am truly blown away.

God is blessing us in so many ways. more than i can share here yet. but when i tell you the rest of the story, you will be amazed by God's goodness and protection.

He has never, ever let us down.

and He never will.

how long is this going to last?

we are still on the ride.

it has been almost 3 weeks since it started, and we really thought we would have some direction by now as to what the ride would look like. it hasn't been pleasant, either.

God, however, has other ideas.

i have been up and down emotionally since the whole thing started, and honestly, being pregnant is NOT helping any.

my husband, well, he is hanging in there the best he can. what else can you do when your wife is so emotionally unpredictable?

i posted before that i don't like roller coaster rides in the dark.

i am beginning to rethink that.

the roller coaster is never-ending, and the idea of it being lit is, well, an illusion really.

God never promised me that i would know when the dips, turns, and even loop-de-loops would be.

i THINK i know what the ride looks like because i illumine it with my own ideas, thoughts, desires, altogether leaving God out of the picture.

He never said He would tell me what was coming. i always want to know, but, i never have been able to predict what God is going to do.

never.

am i rambling?

the gist of this is that God knows what He has for me and my family. He is in control, no matter how much i want to control things.

if i could see what God could see, then i would have chosen this path for us. because He chose it for us, and He is sovereign.

so...

bring on the roller coaster! the ride is unexpected, but will bring glory to the One who created the world.

it doesn't get any better than that.

roller coasters in the dark...

we have had a bad wednesday.

and thursday...

and friday.

saturday, well, today we are a tad more normal, but only because we are putting significant effort into it.

we have been snappy with each other and the kids.

we are stressed out.

it is like riding a roller coaster in the dark.

i don't like riding roller coasters in broad daylight. you know. the click, click, click noise as you travel upward and wait for the last millisecond to go over the edge and the fly down at wretching speeds only to take a sudden hairpin turn.

now add the dark.

right now we are on the click, click, click part of the ride. wednesday afternoon around 2 pm, we got on the ride. thursday was all uphill. so was friday.

in the midst of this we are waiting for the drop. will it be exhilarating or totally frightening?

we are trying so hard to focus our eyes on Jesus through all of this. it is a moment by moment struggle. to be honest, i think i am managing better than my KISA, but only because the situation is all about him. i am just collateral damage. as are my children.

he is worried, but trying to be hopeful.

he is stressed, but trying to rest in God's promises.

i can only stand by in prayer and love and support him through it all.

but, jeez. i want to get off this ride already.

Ham and Noodle Casserole

i just made this last night and realized that a friend of mine had asked me for this recipe and i totally forgot to give it to her (sorry, heather!). so i thought i would post it.

Ham and Noodle Casserole (Taste of Home, Light and Tasty, adapted)

shopping list:

8 oz elbow noodles
12 oz cottage cheese
3/4 c sour cream
1/4 c milk
2 T flour
3 T grated parmesan cheese
1 tsp dill weed
1 cup chopped cooked ham
10 oz frozen peas

1. cook noodles according to package, drain
2. mix in a large bowl: cottage cheese, sour cream, milk, flour, parmesan, dill weed
3. add ham and noodles and mix in.
4 pour into 9x13 pan sprayed with non-stick
5. bake, covered, about 25 minutes at 350
6. top with frozen peas and return to oven, covered, for 5 minutes

enjoy :)

my kids love this meal, and french bread is a really nice side. it serves our family of five with leftovers for lunch the next day for the kids.

this also freezes beautifully! multiply the needed ingredients by 4, and then mix everything together up to the peas. place in 1 gallon freezer ziploc bags and lay flat in freezer. on the day you want to serve it, pull it out in the morning to thaw, and then follow directions #5 and 6.

Wednesday's Manna

i am often amused, and, well, annoyed, by the methods employed by my boys to clean up toys or their room, or whatever. the level of annoyment is usually in direct proportion to how many times i have had to prompt them in putting their belongings away.

see, they usually grab the one thing that they still want to play with (sometimes 2 or 3 things) and then proceed to pick up the other toys while still hanging onto the chosen one. lest the sibling should accidentally put it away instead. needless to say, the clean-up process becomes a very extended one because they now only have one hand free to clean up.

often, they lug very heavy or awkward toys with one hand simply so they won't have to let go of what their little heart desires.

unfortunately, i can see myself in this.

Luke 9.23 says:

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. "

hmmmmm.

the problem in myself is that i can see a striking resemblance to my boys. instead of taking up my cross every day, i lug around my "stuff" with one hand, and try to pick up my cross with the other. it becomes awkward, cumbersome, and altogether too easy to put down so that i can continue to love on my worldly possessions or character traits that too often drag me away from following Jesus.

but He leaves no room for the extra stuff. have you ever seen a crucifix? like what Jesus would have died on? they were large, unfinished, full of splinters, heavy, burdensome. and yet He carried His after being flogged and ridiculed and spit on and beaten by people in the streets.

for me.

for you.

and He asks us to deny ourselves and pick up our cross daily to follow Him.

but first, i have to unburden my arms.

The New Year's Resolution...or not

well, it is a week into the new year. how are your resolutions going?

was your resolution to eat healthier? if that were mine, i would have failed within 24 hours.

was it to exercise more? i would have failed that one, too.

how about to spend more time with the Lord? i am actually doing ok in that area, but only because my weekly bible study resumed on the 4th and i had to finish our lesson.

i haven't made resolutions for several years, mainly because i know i am way too apt to fail at them. i want to have a more organized home. i want to clean my home better. i want to be a better mom. a better wife. a better friend. but why wait for the New Year to start over?

the bible is very specific. God's mercies are new EVERY DAY. not just on New Year's. (Lam 3:22-23)

we are not to worry about what tomorrow has in store, because we have enough on our plates today. (Matthew 6:34)

every time i feel the need to 'change' something in my life, i pick a date of some sort. like, i will start a new bible reading plan on the 1st of the month so that i won't be off. but then, say on the 5th i mess up and forget. do i double up on the 6th, or give up completely?

or what about the monday diet start? i always gorged the weekend before knowing what was coming on monday morning. and by wednesday? forget it. i was already done with celery sticks and low carbs and back to my morning bagel with peanut butter.

and then the end of the year. the possibilities are endless, right? a chance to change numerous things about myself because it is the beginning of a new year...ha! i cannot think of a better way to set myself up for failure. so i don't even bother.

here's the rub. God doesn't want me to stay the way i am. He loves me as i am, accepts me for who i am, but He really doesn't want to see me stay this way. i am to strive toward becoming more like His Son every day...not just at the beginning of the year, beginning of the month, or the beginning of the week. EVERY DAY. if i have a bad day, i shouldn't wait out the week and start anew on monday. i should start again as soon as i figure out i messed up.

do i do this? i am just beginning (even though it was probably glaringly obvious) to see the trend of waiting to start something. so, no i can't say that i do this.

do i want to do this? oh, yes. i want to be more Christ like. i want to change from my selfish, prideful self, to a more gentle and humble person, full of grace and mercy and love. i want to be a Titus 2 woman (specifically verses 4 and 5) more than anything, but i often get in my own way.

change is hard. i avoid change because it takes work, some effort on my part. i am lazy most of the time, and have grandiose ideas on how to do something, but never put stuff into practice. God is working on that, thank goodness, and one day (not on earth) i will be complete, whole, just as He intended. what a wonderful day that will be.

until then, i need to get to work and let God work on me. not change what I think needs changing, but let Him do His work in me so that He can be glorified. not tomorrow, not monday, not on the first of the month or year.

but today. now.

the BIG 7!

the tootsie pop spiders



my oldest turned 7 this weekend. crazy. my husband and i recounted to him the story of his birth...a pretty quick story, actually, but one that he loved to hear. especially in light of the fact that he has a(nother) little brother coming into the world in 20 weeks, give or take.

he requested a "spider" themed party. we haven't ever given him a party before, except those that involve family. this was indeed new territory for me, and was a tad bit frightening!!

i waited too long to place my order from oriental trading company for all things buggy. silly me. i thought i would be able to find spiders and such at the local hobby lobby, but it was full of christmas stuff, not spooky, creepy crawly things :)

note to self: start encouraging alternate themes for birthday celebrations early on!

anyway!

we had 8 children total, 7 boys and one girl! bless her heart! she jumped right into the creepy crawly stuff!!

we started the time doing bug sun catchers. the paint tubes were a big plus so we wouldn't have to deal with paintbrushes.



then we read a really gross bug book, which the boys all laughed hysterically at and the moms all wrinkled their noses at. (sorry, moms! he asked for it, how could i say no?)

BUGS! by David T Greenberg, scholastic inc.



then we made I Spy bug bottles using small empty G2 bottles, plastic bugs from OTC, and rice.

we had our green spider cake with licorice legs and then spent a LOT of time outdoors running off the sugar!



i think, all in all, it went off pretty well for my first attempt! no one was injured (that i know of) and very few tears were shed. except by me, of course, as i always cry on my babies birthdays! how dare they get any older???