missing my KISA

my KISA (Knight in Shining Armor) is gone this week.

5 days without him.

5 days with all 3 kids and first trimester nausea/exhaustion/emotions...24/7

i don't know about you, but i depend on my husband for a lot.

he takes the pressure off of being a perfect mom. cause i am not, and if i was left to my own devices i would be comparing myself to all those amazing mamas out there who have it all together.

he helps out so much with the kids in the evening, even though he is tired from an 11-12 hour day with a commute.

and lately?

well, lately, i have been less than the generous wife. i have retreated to the bedroom to lay down in hopes of catching up on the dead-on-my-feet feeling. that and the ever-present nausea that makes me just one miserable lump.

the last few weeks i haven't been able to do most of the things a homemaker should, at least not well.

well, he has been a trooper. he has let me take my naps on the weekend and done bath duty at night so that i wouldn't have to smell the children's shampoo and body wash.

he has foregone fried eggs in the mornings so that i don't smell them all day. he has put up with leftovers and sandwiches for dinner many times so that i wouldn't have to smell dinner cooking.

and now, he is gone for 5 whole days.

i think i needed to be reminded of how much he does and how little i appreciate him. he is indeed my KISA, and i am hoping that he knows deep down how much he is loved and needed.

God paired us together 11 years ago, and for that i am ever grateful.

even if i forget to tell him so.

i love you, honey. travel safe and come home soon.

update on Mr DTV

a while ago i wrote a thank you letter to the powers that be for helping me get rid of the TV. if you want to read it, go here. i will wait. i am listening to "The Father's Love" on Sovereign Grace's new cd, Sons and Daughters, and i want to dance around a bit anyway.

ok. are you up to speed? did you pay attention to all the things i was going to do in lieu of watching television? i have managed to do several of the things on the list. working on my bible study, reading more books (i am in the chronicles of narnia right now, book 6), and playing games with my husband (wink, and no wink). and you know what happened?

well (blush)...

we got pregnant.

yup.

#4 is on the way and due in april 2010.

that is what happens when you free up your evenings!

difficult times

we are having a bit of a family crisis lately.

a lot is going on, and i haven't had the energy to blog, let alone breathe.

your prayers would be very welcomed right now as we journey.

when it's done (please, God?) i will be back.

blessings.

Tuesday's Torment: An Axe to Grind

i read an article this last week in Parents magazine, sept 2009.

it bothered me.

a lot.

so much so that i decided to write about it.

there was just so much, well, wrong with the whole thing.

the article was titled "I Survived Preschool." and the author is Barrie Gillies. Her LinkedIn profile gives her the title of senior editor for parents magazine since 2004.

the basic premise is that when she sent her 3 year old off to preschool she kept a diary to mark the milestone, and now she shares some of those nuggets of knowledge with us, the reader.

i really dislike how 'society' deems it necessary to take our children out of the family and put them into a frightening environment like preschool all in the name of socializing our children.

socialization: that is a whole other soap box.

Gillies admits in her one page of typeset that it was terribly difficult to drop her son off at preschool. day one went swimmingly, but by day 3 she has to let dad take in her son because the teacher suggested it.

dad feels guilty: "I'm abandoning him. He's only 3. Does he really need to go to school so soon?"

well. NO! he doesn't!

i cannot imagine taking my 4 year old to preschool. he doesn't need to know how to play with other 4 year olds...he already knows how to do that. he needs to learn how to interact with real life, everyday situations. not artificial environments that cater to managing the chaos.

he doesn't need to know what it is like to be away from his family for several hours every day so that he can learn how to be self-sufficient. he needs to see how a family unit works together so that one day he can be like his daddy and support a family and disciple his wife and children.

he doesn't need to have the preschool experience. he gets life experience here at home.

and by day 21? mom is lamenting that her son has become more independent. "he needs me less-phew! I can breathe. He needs me less- but wait, I'm his mommy!"

and there is the statement that really bothered me. this mom sees that her son is supposed to need her because she is his mother. this is what God intended! God gives us these beautiful little people to raise. to steward. but she is relieved because she has new new found freedom.

am i selfish in wanting my children to need me? am i selfish in wanting to keep my children home with me? am i selfish in wanting to raise them 24/7? am i selfish because i don't want to "breathe?" on the contrary...

i think that keeping our children home and revealing our faults on a minute by minute basis is anything but selfish. it is humbling. but in order for my children to acknowledge Jesus and what He did on the cross, they need to see their need for Jesus. how better for me to teach them about their need than to be honest about my own need.

A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

am i a passionate housewife?

at our local homeschool convention i picked up a book i had heard about at a MOPS group 2 years ago called Passionate Housewives Desperate for God. i have only gotten a few chapters into it, and to be honest, i have to go back and do it again.

i am a skim reader, and this book is actually requiring me to focus on the words and really listen to the message.

lately i have been struggling with my sense of purpose. i have always worked outside the home and have felt like that defined me. how wrong i was!

but i let subtle views and working mommy talk pervade my thinking and sway my desires from God-driven to world-driven.

i was getting irritated with my children if they interrupted my "me-time." i was frustrated if i couldn't get on the computer and surf the internet at will. i was resentful of my husband getting "to leave the house every day and talk with adults."

seriously?

did i really let myself get to this point?

how did that happen???

i stopped praying and talking to God on a meaningful level. oh, i would pray alright, but prayers like...'please let me get through this next day without screaming at my children!' not prayers acknowledging who God is and how grateful i am to have His mercy and Grace overflowing in my life.

i watched lots of evening TV and let the insidious message of advertisements and television shows color my thinking. it happened slowly. i allowed chatter from women who worked outside the home to foster envy in my heart because i thought they "had it all."

do they?

i don't think so.

although i am ashamed to even admit my shortcoming in this area, i know it to be all too real for a lot of women. Feminism has told us that staying home with our children is not an option. that we shouldn't be tied to our homes and husbands because that would stifle us. what a load of dirty laundry that is!

what could be more important than staying at home with precious little children during their most formative years?

what could be better than being the 'safe place' for my husband to land after a very long day at work?

what could be better than serving my God, the Creator of all, by serving my family?

laundry isn't mundane, it is a blessing!

cooking isn't mundane, it is a way to nourish little bodies!

checkers and candyland aren't interruptions, they are moments that will always be with me and an opportunity to talk about attitudes and heart matters.

i am so glad that i have been confronted with my selfishness in this area.

i have a long way to go.

i am not perfect.

but i am being made more aware of the need to serve God by serving my family first, with an obedient heart.

obedience, we tell our children, is doing things all the way, right away, and with a cheerful heart.

i would do well to take my own directive and happily obey God's mandate to be a helpmate to my husband and instruct my children in righteousness.

happily, and prayerfully, and maybe even passionately!

MckLinky Blog Hop...Delicious!

wow! it has already been a week since the last blog hop! it went pretty quickly, i must say. we have been pretty hot here in the valley, and i have been trying to keep the house cool, but we gotta eat, so the stove usually turns on at some point!

we are to share one of our favorite recipes, so i thought i would share our easy quiche, adapted from kraft foods. my kids absolutely adore this and we always finish off a whole pie! it is super easy to whip up, and easy to change out the meat/cheese.

enjoy!

Easy Quiche Pie

preheat oven to 375

1 (9 inch) pie crust, placed in pie plate

chop 2 cups steamed broccoli florets and 1 cup cooked ham (we use the canned variety to save time) into small pieces and arrange evenly on bottom of pie crust.

in a food processor combine and pour on top of ham/broccoli:

4 eggs
1 1/2 cups half and half
1 cup cheddar cheese, grated



put into oven and bake at 375 for 50 minutes- 1 hour until a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean. let sit 5 minutes before cutting.

variations: instead of ham/broccoli, use cubed chicken, chopped spinach and swiss cheese!

my kids eat anything if it is in the form of a pie!

7 Quick Takes Friday...my first!

i read 7 quick takes at stephanie's blog just about every week, and i finally went over the the host of the party and discovered a wonderful blog! you should check her out! the host, jennifer, resides at Conversion Diary. i know i will be visiting her often.

so, now for my 7 quick takes friday...

1. well, this week has been crazy! my husband (the KISA) has been working late every single day this week. going in at 6 am or earlier and returning no earlier than 6 pm each night. it has been a hectic week with the kiddos. next week he promises it will be better :)


2. my oldest son lost a fingernail this week. it fell off after an injury a few months ago that involved a 4 year old and a shovel. upon losing it, he declared that the nail fairy would have to come to our house. and then he promptly lost the fingernail at the chiropractor's office.


3. my youngest turned 2 last friday and we celebrated on saturday. now that we don't have a baby in the house, i am feeling the clock ticking in earnest to have #4. convincing the KISA is going to be a challenge.


4. our state homeschool convention is this weekend, and i found out i can go :) i am drooling over the new materials before i can even get my hands on them!

5. i pulled something out of the freezer for dinner tonight, and i have no earthly clue what it is. seriously. i have been doing freezer cooking, and i forgot to label this bag. it looks like some kind of black beans and meat mixture, but i have no idea what we will be eating. the kids keep asking me what is for dinner and i keep telling them it is a surprise. :)

6. i am going to start a new blog totally devoted to our homeschooling adventures. i am hoping to stay more on track with the schedule if it is posted somewhere other than my head!

7. we just finished reading "The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane" by Kate DiCamillo. wow! it was a wonderful read-aloud. my boys were enthralled with the story. my daughter just loved the pictures at the beginning of each chapter. it is an amazing tale of love and loss and restoration. i highly recommend it!


well, that is it for my quick takes. i hope i did ok :)

have a great week!