Friday, February 26, 2010

God's protection

well. it is done. the month-long drama that has pretty much consumed our household is complete.

a little over four weeks ago, my husband came home from work in the middle of the day pending an HR investigation. after a week, we were finally enlightened as to the nature of the allegations, and they were as we had suspected. i cannot go into major specifics, but it involved sharing his faith. needless to say, we were floored.

through all of this, we have seen God's hand over us time and time again.

first, the KISA was sent home on paid administrative leave. translation: staycation at full rate.

second, our church body rallied around us like nobody's business and covered us in prayer.

third, i was able to take much needed breaks throughout his time home so that my pregnant body could rest.

fourth, and the biggest: God has provided a new job for my husband that takes us in an entirely new career direction. he is almost done with his Master's degree in Accountancy, and he has been trying to figure out for a while how to break into the field without any accounting experience. his job starts on monday.

we know it is a God thing for many reasons. for one thing, he doesn't have any experience. most of these firms hire young, newly graduated kids looking for internships (which we could never do with how big a pay cut it would be).

another thing is that although he felt he did well during the interview portion of the morning, he totally bombed the computer testing. since he hadn't been involved in accounting, he was totally unfamiliar with the software. he really thought as he left that he would never get the job. but, he did.

the best part of all of this? God is leaving no room for us to be bitter. not toward his former employer, not toward his accuser, nothing. we will never know what the resolution of the investigation would have been because he resigned before it was completed. God is very gracious. i am so grateful to Him for taking this from us before we could grow vengeful or second guess our actions. i can pray for his accuser without any hard feelings or sorrow over our situation.

God is good. He always has been, He always will be. there is no doubt in my mind that God knows how human i really am and how easy it would have been for me to lay blame and be angry. His protection always amazes me.

and i am so glad i get to see it.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

it doesn't get any better than this...

in light of my last few posts, that probably seems like we are on the upswing, right?

well, sort of.

lots of things have happened this week. i cannot quite reveal all of the details until one final piece falls into place tomorrow, but i can say that God has been revealing Himself to us in so many ways. like my friend cyndi would say, we are getting to see 'Jesus with skin on' up close and personal.

the little boy in the womb has decided he wants to bring some excitement to our lives. if you call excitement going in to the doctor's office for a 32 week check-up only to be sent directly to the hospital for monitoring and the first of two steroid shots to help baby boy's lungs develop just a teeny bit faster than they would on their own. ripened cervix and dilated to 1-2 cm were not phrases i wanted to hear. but, hey. a little excitement never hurt anyone, right?

so now we are on 'bedrest.' i dread that word. it was hard when i had a 4 and 2 year old when i was pregnant with stinkerbell. and it is even harder with a 7, 4, and 2 year old. thankfully, due to circumstances beyond our control, my hubby has been home for the last 4 weeks and has been able to be the 'mommy' in many ways and significantly lessen my workload.

not his chosen profession, but he does amazingly well at it! i am convinced that if he hadn't been home, the bedrest thing would have happened waaaaay before this.

last time, i wasn't so gracious with asking for help. i was pretty stand-offish, and i am ashamed to admit that. i wasn't quite ready to be humbled and ask for help, even though i desperately needed it. the KISA was 4 hours away training for a new job the monday after i was put on bedrest. we had to have people in the house 24-7. i was very prideful, and usually when pride is involved, grace is not. i hope i have learned my lessons (probably not, but i think i did learn a little). i look back on those days with a lot of regret. thankfully, my friends just stepped up and ran with scheduling so i didn't have to worry about the details. i am not sure what i would have done without them (thanks, tammy and karen!).

regret that i wasn't more thankful toward those who so willingly served us and put up with my moodiness.

regret that i didn't accept more of the help that was offered and limiting the abilities of others to show Christ to us.

regret that i didn't see God actively working in our lives in the midst of it. i can look back now and recount the blessings, but i missed out while it was happening.

so now...what am i doing? advertising our needs :) even though i am a much better giver than receiver, i know that when i find out about a need too late to help with i am always saddened with the thought that i wasn't able to help.

within hours of my first e-mail/facebook post i had an overflowing inbox. the tears coursed down my face as i opened each email and saw the outpouring of prayers, offers of meals, and help with childcare. each day has brought new emails, phone calls and offers of help. i am truly blown away.

God is blessing us in so many ways. more than i can share here yet. but when i tell you the rest of the story, you will be amazed by God's goodness and protection.

He has never, ever let us down.

and He never will.

Monday, February 15, 2010

how long is this going to last?

we are still on the ride.

it has been almost 3 weeks since it started, and we really thought we would have some direction by now as to what the ride would look like. it hasn't been pleasant, either.

God, however, has other ideas.

i have been up and down emotionally since the whole thing started, and honestly, being pregnant is NOT helping any.

my husband, well, he is hanging in there the best he can. what else can you do when your wife is so emotionally unpredictable?

i posted before that i don't like roller coaster rides in the dark.

i am beginning to rethink that.

the roller coaster is never-ending, and the idea of it being lit is, well, an illusion really.

God never promised me that i would know when the dips, turns, and even loop-de-loops would be.

i THINK i know what the ride looks like because i illumine it with my own ideas, thoughts, desires, altogether leaving God out of the picture.

He never said He would tell me what was coming. i always want to know, but, i never have been able to predict what God is going to do.


am i rambling?

the gist of this is that God knows what He has for me and my family. He is in control, no matter how much i want to control things.

if i could see what God could see, then i would have chosen this path for us. because He chose it for us, and He is sovereign.


bring on the roller coaster! the ride is unexpected, but will bring glory to the One who created the world.

it doesn't get any better than that.