Thursday, July 22, 2010

the gift from my Father...

the other day was hard for my 5 year old. he has a temper that steamrolls. he mows down anyone or anything in his path and then it gets even worse as the consequences start. we have had this problem for some time, and have recently devoted it to regular prayer.

i am sure you can picture it. we told him to leave the table where his older sib and daddy were playing a game because he kept bumping the board pieces.

so he started by stomping. that earned him a sit-down on the stool to cool-off. not happening. he sat down on the stool and started making up curse words to spit at us through clenched teeth and grabbed the sides of the stool and started making it jump underneath him and moving it across the floor.

we then sent him to the laundry area to calm down before the rest of his consequence was delivered, and he decided he would pick up the trash can and throw it, then the bathroom door got slammed against the wall, and the bathroom rug was pulled out from underneath the bathroom stool with great force. seriously?

this all occurred in the grand total of 20 seconds, so i think we just watched with our mouths open in shock. it took a little while to register what happened.

we disciplined him and then he had to spend the afternoon in his room. i went up to talk with him, bible in hand, and we read some out of Prov 17 and 18. several of the verses applied and we talked them over. then we prayed and he asked if he could go down and apologize to daddy for his attitude. by all means!! he has the hardest time apologizing without falling down in fear, so i was excited to see him want to 'make it right' without any prompting from me.

fast forward to dinner. as the KISA is praying for dinner, bonobo gets out of his chair and onto the bench. i start to chastise him when i realize what he is doing.

he kneels on the bench, folds his hands, and leans over to put his forehead on the bench.

rewind to our talk on his bedroom floor. he had asked me if this (the position i described above) was a good way to pray. i told him it was, and that it showed humility before our Lord.

fast forward again.

my son wants to be on his knees and face before God while we give thanks for our dinner.

i teared up.

then the tears fell. (the kids were pretty baffled about why i was crying over meatballs)

they are falling now as i write this.

we so worry about our 5 year old's heart before the Lord. he just seems so angry all the time. so rebellious. so defiant. not wanting anyone in authority over him.

and yet. God gave me a glimpse of how He is working in our son's life and heart.

just as we have asked Him to do.

thank you, Lord, for being faithful to answer prayers and showing us in tangible ways how you are working.

Monday, July 12, 2010

taking a break

ok. i decided it was time to take a break from blogging, at least for a little while. i had an "oopsie" occur when posting from snapfish to my homeschooling blog, and it freaked me out a bit. i tried posting a pic from snapfish to the blog and it automatically titled it with my full name! i tried deleting the post, but it is still showing up in readers! i should have just changed the title, and maybe that would have made a difference, but i thought deleting the post would solve the problem.

i know, probably not a huge deal. it isn't like i had a huge following on it. but i started thinking about the possibility of absolute strangers having my full name (and my daughter's name, btw) and it really creeped me out.

so i think i need to take a step back and really evaluate why i am blogging. there is a safety in the anonymity, but then again, there isn't. i mean, i love knowing that someone from across the world wanted to read the words i wrote. there is something very satisfying in that. maybe a little too much pride in it. am i really posting simply to have a record of my thoughts and to share my a-ha moments in Christianity with others? am i sharing my thoughts to encourage others? or am i sharing my thoughts so that i can gain sympathy and share my 'knowledge?' (ha!)

*sigh* i think God has little cleaning house to do in my heart. i fear i have gotten a little ahead of myself in the whole 'blogging' world. i don't know what path God will take me on next in the cyber world, but i know that if i seek Him and His will for me, then it will be the right path!