Saturday, July 4, 2009

Before I Go...

i was diagnosed with cancer in 1999. melanoma. on my neck. i had two outpatient surgeries to remove the malignancy, and have been cancer free ever since. but tragedies occur every day. we were in a nasty accident in april of this year. it left me a bit shaken. life is oh, so fragile. i only have to read a newspaper or turn on the news to see numerous deaths occur around us. what would happen to my children if, heaven forbid, i was taken from them? if i never got to see them graduate high school or get married and have children, get their driver's license? what if i never got to impart my motherly wisdom? (ok, that is a stretch. i don't have a lot of wisdom, so to speak). i want to be able to share with my children my words as i watch them grow up. and as i discover things about them that are so precious that i want to preserve them. and to tell them about my own mistakes so that they won't make them, hopefully. to share about love and life, and most importantly, about Jesus. so i am starting this blog theme. i do it in a blog, not to get recognition for the writings, but so that i make sure they are preserved. paper yellows and can get burned or damaged. although i do write things to my children in books, i cannot be sure they will survive my life. i know a lot of moms/dads diagnosed with a terminal illness do videos of themselves talking to their children so that their kids will have something to view after their death. i know that i do not currently suffer from any illnesses, but i do not know when my time to go will be, and i want to make sure that i don't waste any time/breath in the here and now.

maybe it will be a keepsake to them when they are older, and if i am blessed enough to be present for all the milestones, i will be able to share with them my thoughts from their childhood. i hope it will be a legacy.

1 comment:

Giovanna said...

I think that is a wonderful idea. It's so hard sometimes to think about when we pass away having to leave our children without the words or encouragement that they may need.

When my first child was born, I began writing birthday letters to them. Things that were important to me about them at that particular age, along with all their cute little idiosyncrasies. We have done this for all of our children since and each year.

When my husband was told he had brain cancer that eventually would be the reason for the end of his life here, we began chronicling his life for them from childhood to present day. Since our children are so small, we didn't want them to not be able to remember their father when he passes.

I will say this, when you are told that your love of your life has brain cancer and the severity of it, you tend to realize how important every single day is. There are no longer silly fights over silly things, or pettiness or anger. Only the need to preserve and strengthen your relationship with each other and within the family unit.

God will bless your efforts Gin