Sunday, August 29, 2010

on my own...

my hubby left this morning for a business trip. he only does these kinds of trips a few times/year. but i always miss him terribly when he is gone.

i don't know about you, but my mind often turns to the worst possible scenario. in my mind i play out what would happen if something dreadful happened to him on the trip. like getting in a car accident, or even worse, dying. i start imagining how i would handle the news, how i would tell the kids, how i would manage, who i would call first, etc.

morbid, i know.

and full of fear.

i know that i am not to fear what can happen on this earth. that the perfect love of God casts out all fear.

i know this to be true.

but that doesn't stop my mind from racing. esp at night when the house is quiet. and i cannot get to sleep because my mate who has shared my bed for nearly 11 years now isn't there.

when we first got married, i had a hard time sleeping with him next to me.

now i cannot sleep when he is gone.

i love that we have become closer over the years. that our marriage has grown stronger instead of growing brittle like more than 50% of marriages these days.

that the word 'divorce' is not a part of our vocabulary, and that we have decided it never will be.

that he has, over time, become my best friend.

that i shed several tears over his parting this morning. when we first got married, i didn't. not because i wouldn't miss him, but just because i wasn't that sentimental. now, he leaves, and i ache.

i love his sense of humor. i don't get it most of the time, and i usually pretend annoyance with it, but really, i love it (shhhh. don't tell him!)

i love that he plays his guitar for the kids and makes up 'monster truck' songs for them to go crazy with.

i love that he writes songs that reflect where he is at in his walk with God.

i don't tell him about the little things i love... i hope i get a chance to and that nothing happens to him on this trip.

i love you, honey.

gifts #79-87

holy experience


Joy said...

what a wonderful list to be thankful for! Stopping by from Mingle Monday!

Chelsey said...

I wish my hubby could play the guitar! How lovely that he writes a mix of fun, silly songs and songs to worship God!

Anonymous said...

oh gosh, you make me miss him too, and I don't even know the guy! i hope he gets home soon!

my husband sometimes works nights, as he is now for a couple of days, and when he does both of my boys just sleep in my bed with i can have someone to keep me warm and all! maybe you too should pile kids in your bed when he is gone..
thanks for visiting my place too :)

i sometimes am morbid like that made me laugh. i think we should put our morbity to use and write novels...

joelle said...

What a great list! I am coming from Monday Mingle. I do worry about my hubby as well. I guess it is an expression of our love. My boys are soon to be 7 and 5 as well. It is nice to meet you.

GlowinGirl said...

We fear together, don't we? Isn't His perfect love such a great comfort!

I used to be bothered when my husband was gone (those fearful imaginings), but now I just miss him. Most of the fear is gone, thankfully, but I always sleep better when he's back!

Giving thanks with you for good husbands that make us laugh -- "annoying" or not! :)

Gwen Toliver said...

so important to show our thankfulness for our hubbies! Too many wives complain about what God has given them.... thanks for this great list!

Sara said...

What a wonderful way to wrap him in thankfulness and force the fear to succumb to joy!

As always a delight to splash around in goodness with you today.


Grace Taker said...

Just reading this now, really should keep up ion your blog more often. I don't deserve you. You are my list of 1,000!