the gift from my Father...

the other day was hard for my 5 year old. he has a temper that steamrolls. he mows down anyone or anything in his path and then it gets even worse as the consequences start. we have had this problem for some time, and have recently devoted it to regular prayer.

i am sure you can picture it. we told him to leave the table where his older sib and daddy were playing a game because he kept bumping the board pieces.

so he started by stomping. that earned him a sit-down on the stool to cool-off. not happening. he sat down on the stool and started making up curse words to spit at us through clenched teeth and grabbed the sides of the stool and started making it jump underneath him and moving it across the floor.

we then sent him to the laundry area to calm down before the rest of his consequence was delivered, and he decided he would pick up the trash can and throw it, then the bathroom door got slammed against the wall, and the bathroom rug was pulled out from underneath the bathroom stool with great force. seriously?

this all occurred in the grand total of 20 seconds, so i think we just watched with our mouths open in shock. it took a little while to register what happened.

we disciplined him and then he had to spend the afternoon in his room. i went up to talk with him, bible in hand, and we read some out of Prov 17 and 18. several of the verses applied and we talked them over. then we prayed and he asked if he could go down and apologize to daddy for his attitude. by all means!! he has the hardest time apologizing without falling down in fear, so i was excited to see him want to 'make it right' without any prompting from me.

fast forward to dinner. as the KISA is praying for dinner, bonobo gets out of his chair and onto the bench. i start to chastise him when i realize what he is doing.

he kneels on the bench, folds his hands, and leans over to put his forehead on the bench.

rewind to our talk on his bedroom floor. he had asked me if this (the position i described above) was a good way to pray. i told him it was, and that it showed humility before our Lord.

fast forward again.

my son wants to be on his knees and face before God while we give thanks for our dinner.

i teared up.

then the tears fell. (the kids were pretty baffled about why i was crying over meatballs)

they are falling now as i write this.

we so worry about our 5 year old's heart before the Lord. he just seems so angry all the time. so rebellious. so defiant. not wanting anyone in authority over him.

and yet. God gave me a glimpse of how He is working in our son's life and heart.

just as we have asked Him to do.

thank you, Lord, for being faithful to answer prayers and showing us in tangible ways how you are working.

taking a break

ok. i decided it was time to take a break from blogging, at least for a little while. i had an "oopsie" occur when posting from snapfish to my homeschooling blog, and it freaked me out a bit. i tried posting a pic from snapfish to the blog and it automatically titled it with my full name! i tried deleting the post, but it is still showing up in readers! i should have just changed the title, and maybe that would have made a difference, but i thought deleting the post would solve the problem.

i know, probably not a huge deal. it isn't like i had a huge following on it. but i started thinking about the possibility of absolute strangers having my full name (and my daughter's name, btw) and it really creeped me out.

so i think i need to take a step back and really evaluate why i am blogging. there is a safety in the anonymity, but then again, there isn't. i mean, i love knowing that someone from across the world wanted to read the words i wrote. there is something very satisfying in that. maybe a little too much pride in it. am i really posting simply to have a record of my thoughts and to share my a-ha moments in Christianity with others? am i sharing my thoughts to encourage others? or am i sharing my thoughts so that i can gain sympathy and share my 'knowledge?' (ha!)

*sigh* i think God has little cleaning house to do in my heart. i fear i have gotten a little ahead of myself in the whole 'blogging' world. i don't know what path God will take me on next in the cyber world, but i know that if i seek Him and His will for me, then it will be the right path!

Polishing a Cornerstone

i am going to be posting this to both my blogs, so i apologize if you follow them both. i felt it appropriate since i was going to be reaping benefits from this study as well as my daughter. definitely manna for the spirit and soul.





i just received my Polished Cornerstones book, and since i didn't want to just jump in and start without some thought, preparation and prayer, my first link-up post is going to be more about what i hope to gain by this study and my very tentative plan of action. consider it an introduction to me as a mom and to my daughter.

i am ginny. a 35 year old woman who has been a christian for 15 years, a wife for 10 and a mom for 7. you can read about the other 3 kiddos in the sidebar, but for this study, i am going to be focusing on my daughter. i call her stinkerbell for the sake of the blogs. she will be 3 in july (yikes!) and is quite a handful. i see a lot of my own character traits (good and bad) in her. we clash a LOT. i think it is because we are so alike.

i was never taught how to be a 'homemaker' in the traditional sense. my upbringing consisted of learning how to do my own laundry, cleaning the house every two weeks, and tidying up here and there. i learned how to cook basics like spaghetti and mac and cheese. but that is about it. hospitality was NEVER modeled in our home. we rarely had people over for dinner or holidays. there also weren't a whole lot of traditions in our home, either. as i came to my marriage i really had no idea what a wife was except a woman who worked full time outside the home and came home to make dinner clean up then sit in front of the TV til bedtime.

i know my mom did more than that... she just never shared any of it with me. i know she managed our home, did the bills, produced meal plans and shopping lists, kept it all running smoothly. i just never, ever had a part in it. i am hoping... no , i am INTENTIONALLY going to include my daughter in those aspects of our home.

so, here the book sits. open to page 11... the Purpose of Polished Cornerstones. i love the idea of raising my daughter with the purpose of growing a godly woman, and hopefully a godly wife and mother. i do not know what God has in store for my rough gem, but i know He knows, and it will be just right for her. i can only pray that i can come alongside her and help her to realize who she is in Christ.

the book says that the 'beginner' projects are for girls ages 4-9, but after browsing through some of the activities, i think we can get started, even though she is 3. i know that i have a lot to learn as a 'homemaker' and i will benefit from doing some of the more advanced projects myself.

our first chapter will be "A Woman Who Memorizes God's Word. " i struggle with memorization and i am hoping to be encouraged and challenged by her ability to memorize chunks of scripture. just this morning she told me "my bible tells me not to complain" :) i love it!

i need to dig a little more into the book before i do any more planning/implementing. i am looking forward to linking with Raising Homemakers in this journey and reading about other mom's and daughters as they pursue godliness.

blessings to you in your day!!

52. my 5 year old son bringing me his story Bible to read at night for his bedtime story
53. a 2.9 year old little girl checking out her 'looks' in the mirror
54. a 7 year old with NO CAVITIES at the dentist
55. a dentist who is willing to waive the fees of nitrous oxide for the 7 year olds appt for sealant and scaling
56. key lime poke cake for Father's Day celebration
57. a husband who is doing everything he can to be a good provider for our family
58. the privilege of growing in Christ with my husband
59. discovering that my husband truly is my best friend
60. 4 beautiful children
61. laughter at dinner
62. squeezy hugs
63. crunchy crab
64. the study of the book Revelation
65. early morning nursing sessions with the cutest 2 month old ever
66. noiseless giggles
67. the 'show' put on my the boys for daddy on Father's Day...complete with narrator and curtains in their bedroom on the bunkbeds

God is good.

confidence or not?

my husband is a bit discouraged right now.

he is starting a business from scratch and he is setting appointments to introduce himself and familiarize our friends (the "warm market") with his services as an accountant.

he feels that he is spinning his wheels, in a sense, because our friends, while well-meaning with their words of encouragement and referrals, have no confidence in his ability to do what he says he can do because they only know him personally.

they know he is an honest man and hard-working, but can he really do what he says he can?

well, yes, he can, or else he would be out there pounding the pavement and getting a job in the corporate world, whenever that happened.

all that being said... i had to ask myself... do i believe he can do what he says he can?

well, of course i do!

or do i?

at 3 am as i was nursing little j.d. i realized that, although i do believe in his abilities, i certainly don't act like i do.

my actions, words, even thoughts do not reflect a belief in his abilities.

(don't worry. i have confessed this to him, so it is not coming as a surprise)

i have been less than enthusiastic in my words to him.

i have even cut him off a time or two (or three *gulp*) as i listen with glazed over eyes at his excitement over a new computer program, or method of billing, or his advertising, or his networking, because something else (or someone else) is more "pressing."

to be honest, most of what he says goes right over my head, as i am not a numbers person and i don't understand a word of it!

no wonder he is discouraged! he isn't feeling the respect of his wife as he endeavors to make a living so i can stay home with our children!

ouch.

how often do i do this to my Heavenly Father?

double ouch.

i read His Word, knowing He has promised me eternal life if i just believe in the Resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ.

but do i believe?

do i live my life as if this were true?

do my words, actions, and yes, even thoughts, reflect my belief in what He has promised me?

*gulp*

seems like i have another confession to make.

digging out the gifts

we have had a rough few months. 2010, well, it has been challenging.

yesterday at church, a friend of mine gifted us with a check. i know they are not in any position to give money to us, as they are living off student loans right now. just as we are living off an equity line of credit.

but she saw my facebook post about all the 'stuff' that has happened to us over the last week, and she said that she and her husband felt led by God to give to us. it was truly a sacrificial gift.

i drove home in tears at their generosity.

i feel very undeserving of their generosity. why should they give to us when every dollar they spend is debt?

i feel guilty for accepting their gift. i feel guilty for accepting the many gifts that have come our way these past few months.

God has a way of bringing me to my knees, especially when i have been overly secure in my own abilities.

this week i am going to recount some of the gifts that have come to us through our circumstances.

40. the hot water heater broke this weekend. GIFT: our children had a blast getting hosed down outside in lieu of a bath. the laughter that erupted from them was priceless!

41. GIFT: the unexpected. sacrificial offering of a friend to help with the cost of replacing said hot water heater.

42. the buckle of stinkerbell's car seat broke on friday night, leaving me to wonder how we could drive anywhere safely. GIFT: we had an old car seat in the garage that i was able to take the buckle from and fit it onto her carseat while we wait for the replacement buckle.

43. tic tac got a butterscotch candy lodged in his throat on saturday night and was scared (truly, truly frightened) that he was going to die. it was a very scary scene, and i was definitely concerned that it might indeed go down the wrong way if he got too worked up. GIFT: he was able to stay calm, and in the end, he vomited up all of his dinner and said butterscotch candy all over the couch :) (strange to find a gift in the vomit, i know, but it was such a relief to see that candy!).

44. the KISA had to have his struts replaced this week. GIFT: he can now drive his car wherever he needs to without stranding me by taking the minivan.

45. our church has a conference in california in a few weeks, and we were not going to be able to attend because it was cost-prohibitive. GIFT: the church is going to assist us financially and we will be able to go!

46. we have also had several small gifts along the way that have helped out tremendously: from my bible study friends, the KISA's father, gift cards to various stores, 2 HUGE boxes of diapers, 3 large gift baskets from our local VA women's center, and i am sure a few others that escape me at the moment.

47. the KISA lost his job the week before j.d. was born. GIFT: he has been home and has helped me out tremendously with all 4 kids. otherwise, i think we would be down to 2 kids :)

48. the KISA is starting a business from home. GIFT: he has had his first couple of clients in the past few weeks. i am so grateful to God for letting him see success!

49. the toilet in the upstairs bathroom decided to develop a leak right into my kitchen! requiring a plumber on a SUNDAY! GIFT: our friend's dad is a plumber and he was able to point us to someone who would be willing to come out on a sunday without charging us an exorbitant amount.

50. we seem to be on everyone's prayer list. GIFT: we have seen amazing things as a result of the prayers of our many friends. i have never felt so loved and encouraged as i have these past few months. the prayer cover is tangible... and i have never experienced that. this alone is worth all the hardship.

51. GIFT: we have had to let go of our pride time and again to accept offers of help and money. it is always a gift to let go of my self.

there have been other disheartening events in our lives recently, but i think i will leave it at that. the bottom line is that GOD is good ALL the time. HEis in EVERY detail of my life. if i look for it, i can see HIM working in each moment, big or small, serious or silly. HE is the provider, not me and not my KISA.

HE continues to care for me and provide for me and my family and make sure that our essentials are taken care of.

because HE IS GOD. and i am His child.

whew.

Homemaking, not to be feared!!

i am excited for the launch of Raising Homemakers! i think i am going to learn a lot from this site. even though stinkerbell is coming up on 3 years old, i know i could be doing more to encourage her growth as a woman of Christ! check out the site if you have any daughters!!