Monday, April 6, 2009

Making Your Home a Haven: Choosing Love

wow. what a timely post and challenge. this morning i was caught up in a battle of screaming with my (just turned) 4 year old. he and his brother were arguing about which episode luke skywalker lost his arm in to darth vader of all things!! needless to say...J was extremely upset that N (age 6) wasn't agreeing with him, and so in order to get N to understand he turned UP the volume. and not a little, either. so i came in to "settle" the dispute, only to find myself yelling at J to stop screaming! how silly am i? it completely deteriorated and i exasperated my son to the point that he declared he didn't love me and would never talk to me again. (this has been an ongoing thing with him as he seeks methods of exerting control...we are trying to get a handle on it and encourage loving and kind speech as well as peace/unity instead of strife)...and, of course, we had to leave in like, two minutes for an Easter celebration with story-telling and drama and painting (thanks, heather!) ...

i pretty much lost it on my son and i am very thankful that we have vacant houses on either side of us. i am sure the volume alone would have warranted a call to the my story, i think i needed the reminder of :

If you want to be cheerful, you must choose to be cheerful (even when you don't feel like it). If you want to have patience, you have to practice waiting quietly and calmly (even when you don't feel like it). If you want to be kind, choose kindness (even when you don't feel like it).

from tammy over at tammy's recipes. i am sometimes overwhelmed by my impatience with my children. i mean, sometimes, the loudness of the boys, the clinginess of the girl, the ever-lasting pile of laundry and dirty dishes and yellow pee around the toilet bowl (how do they miss?!?!?) just get to me. and i feel far from loving most days. starting my day purposing (is that a word?) to love, be kind, patient, react without overreacting is a lofty goal. one i have been attempting to achieve regualrly since having children (ok, really, since getting married). i needed the reminder to act in love. to promote peace and unity in the house is first accomplished by me and then the children learn by example, or so i hope.

how on earth can i expect J to stop screaming when i am screaming at him to stop screaming??? my son deserves an apology for mommy losing it on him. i think i will go do that now.

thanks for the manna, tammy!


Tammy L said...

Thank YOU so much for sharing your heart! :)

Heather said...

i hear you. i told myself that i would never lose my temper at my kids. that worked for the first two years with my oldest more easy going child. now that there are more little one's and the two youngers have much stronger, louder wills it is a daily struggle. time in the Word, crying out for grace in the moment and (frequently) a time-out for mommy have been helpful. i'm also getting good at asking for forgiveness. lots of opportinity for practice helps, i guess.