Dear Mom...

i plugged in some stuff into a search engine the other day and realized that THIS blog will pop up quite readily. i never really thought about it before, but this might actually pose a problem. i have 3 blogs. one for family. one for homeschooling. and one for me. the family one is even on a different platform. i did this so my family wouldn't have any knowledge of THIS blog. because i wanted the freedom to write whatever i wanted without worrying about censoring it from prying family eyes. namely that of my mom, sister and MIL. ummm. i guess if they were curious, they could find this pretty easily. scary thought. i don't think i have slammed them, per se, but i know i haven't minced words. i thought about cleaning up the blog some and deleting posts, but then...why should i? i shouldn't be ashamed of anything i have thought or written, as long as i have been honest and fair in my assessments, right? i did a little back reading and discovered that most of the things i have said are things i wish i could say face-to-face.

so, mom, sis and ma-in-law...if you are offended by what i have written, i am sorry that you see it that way. i don't mean to hurt you by what i have said. i am not going to apologize for my thoughts, however. they are true to how i feel. one day i may even get the courage to speak them to you directly.

i hope this has remained a family-free blog, but if it hasn't, well. that is just the way it goes. i do not plan to change what i write or how i write it. i want to be able to talk about my relationship with Christ and my trials without watering anything down. that is what i started this blog for. i hope that in the coming months, that my love for Christ is what shines through. i want to share what He is doing in our lives (quite a bit, lately) and how we are getting through it. He is working in us and doing a lot of refining right now, and even though it is painful, we are trying to persevere with faith. it is sometimes a minute by minute walk.

and, mom, sis and MIL...if you are reading this, i hope you take it at face value and don't pass any judgments on me for thinking out loud. i love you regardless. and i hope you love me despite me.